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Dammit. I typed this up and the bastardly dominion BB screwed me up and it didn't get posted. this is the second time around. I'm not happy, and this prolly won't be anywhere near as good as the original one I did. I SPENT 1 1/2 HRS ON THAT REVIEW, DAMMIT.

Here we go. It's nice to have new eps, isn't it? This review is brought to you by Sentient Silly Putty. Just don't mix the red and blue ones, kiddies!

-Bleh. They just had to go and remind me of EM, an ep I loathed.

-Jool's being all doctor like. We knew this would happen. She's certainly smart enough.

-Why does it look like Crais is wearing a medieval breastplate? Hehehe. I said 'breast'. BOOBS!

-In-joke! IIIIIN JOKE! Crichton makes ref to Alien Nation, a show Rockne was also involved in...

-I love the "I'm the original, you're the clone!" fight. It reminds me of a fight between two little kids:
Crichton1: I'm the original! You're a doodiehead!
Crichton2: AM NOT! You're a stupidhead! I'm telling Aeryn!
Aeryn: Frell this. You two are making Crais look like an option.

-"Because you're CLOSER!" Poor Aeryn. She just doesn't know how to deal with two Crichtons, but can you blame her?

-What's with the funky disco goth aliens? And DAZZAMN, look at the fro on that woman!

-The Security Director looks like a young Vincent Price.

-That bastard dropped an olive down Chi's cleavage. D'Argo is not going to be happy... oh, look, and he isn't. He's comin over to kick his ass... Chi and D'Argo are not done by far. There is still something going on between them.

-"Every frelling planet..." Tell me about it! You guys can't get a break, can you!

-Jool is not yet in the credits, which is interesting, considering she's on the Farscape.com page, and Stark isn't, but he's in the credits. *pant* Wow, that was a hard sentence.

-Stark's got new clothes! Now, if only we can get Jool out of that RIDICULOUS thing she's wearing.

-Yes, Talyn does have DRDs. We finally know. I wonder what they look like... are they as "OOH! I WANT ONE OF THOSE!" as Moya's?

-Jool's got a sweet tooth! I can't wait til Crichton tells her about the wonders of chocolate.

-The brown shirt is a welcome change. After all, he's been wearing the same thing for over a season now, and they actually have the money to afford new clothes.

-I knew one of the Crichton's was going to seek tests or something to try to prove that he was the original. I mean, neither can accept that there's a perfect duplicate running around.

-Don't call Jool 'sweet thang', Crichton.

-Angry Crais, and Jool gets stabby. I'm starting to like Jool more and more.

-"There, I woke him up. Now I hope he drops dead." Oh yeah. See? Jool's definitely getting cooler. I mean, I wish some people would learn not to judge on first impressions, because they're rarely ever indicative of the person.

-Crais is surprised that Aeryn's alive. Ayup. WE knew it'd happen. I'm obligated to mention it, but I don't have any comments. *shrug*

-*snerk* He said Skeksis! Another in-joke ref to Henson's Dark Crystal! WOOP!

-This is one rainy-ass planet. Where the hell did they film this ep, Seattle?

-WTF is with the Dune eyes on these aliens? Do they have too much spice on this planet? Can you tell I watched the Dune miniseries this past week?

-"Pantak Class Vigilante" - New ship! new Ship!

-"What did you do to the pod?" "Well, nothing you can fix." D'Argo, you rocl.

-About the chip... it was interesting, but anti-climactic. We learn Aeryn's mom's name: Xhalax. She does look like Aeryn. But I wasn't expecting it to be resolved so early and so fast, you know? There was so much speculation all around about something about Aeryn's family on the chip... but I was kinda like "... That's it?"

-Stop touching Aeryn, Crais.

-Aeryn looks stunned, floored, and generally shocked when she's getting the info about her mom. Good job, Claudia. It works without being overdone.

-CRAIS, I SAID STOP TOUCHING AERYN!

-Bleh. It's kinda soapish that Aeryn's mom is leading the Retrieval Squad. I hope the writers manage to make it not-soapish.

-Jool is *so* one of us. She's a transplanted Scaper chick. She likes sweet stuff, can be snarky, and SHE WANTS TO SEE CRICHTON'S ASS! SHE WANTED BUTTSHOTS!

-Work now, freak later. Work now, freak later. "How much later?" Have I mentioned that I worship Stark?

-Captain Crunch? ooooookay.

-Stark's death speech for Talyn and the weapons console wave... roflmao! OMG! I love Stark! Stark ROCKS!

-Oh god. McDonald's has even invaded the UT. *gag*

-The cgi on the ships coming down and targeting the building ROCKED! It looked SO COOL!

-"Hello, Morons!" You know, I've got to use that in greetings more often.

-"John Crichton. Wizard of Oz." You know, I have a feeling this'll be overused, like "Bond, James Bond." I just feel it.

-Renic, Renic, and Renic sounds like a law firm. Any relation to Litigarans?

-"Liar's a Big word to throw around, son." Ooo. Badass Crichton. What's with the 'son', tho? He can't be THAT much younger than Crichton.

-AHH! AHHH! ALIEN FACE HUGGER! How come we got not refs to Sigourney Weaver, or something?

-Crais really wants Aeryn to come with him. Give it up, boyo. Aeryn's already got Crichton for her bitch.

-BTW, for reference, since it'll be easier... I'm calling the Crichtons MC for 'Moya Crichton' and TC for 'Talyn Crichton', depending on which ship they end up on at the end of the ep. Okay?

-Define Irony: Crais telling Aeryn that Xhalax needs to be shown that he can be more. First he's trying to steal Crichton's woman, and now his lines?

-Did they say 6 Leonards? Leonard 6? Wasn't that a Bill Cosby movie? Is Pralanoth really Fat Albert in disguise?! Hey hey hey!

-"Is this a proposition?" Yeah, what is with all the phallic objects this ep? Did the penis elves invade?

-DAZZAMN look at the BOOTs on Sarova!

-Upon seeing the freaky red silly putty, did anyone mutter "Yotz, creeping vomit!" other than me?

-Yotz, creeping blue vomit, too!

-GIT YER LEG OFF CRICHTON! Crichton, tell her you're taken!

-"I've been nothing but patient." Does anyone sense a bit of sexual frustration on Crichton's part? Or is it just me being lecherous?

-Okay. First showing, when Sarova dies, I didn't realise she'd actually *died* I thought that maybe her species had 2 forms - the one we'd seen, and the red guy. By the second showing, I figured out that she was actually dead, and someone had taken her form.

-Erk. OCB. You know, it would've been better NOT to pull that thing in his leg out! It would've prolly prevented the excessive blood loss to wait til he got to Moya.

-Crichton does the right thing, even though it's true that it would be easier in the long run to let him die. Both of them know it, too.

-"Of course you are. The other guy said the same thing." Heh.

-The Jacket MC is wearing looks an awful lot like the Commando one seen in Nerve. In fact, exactly the same, except this one is all black.

-"You can't handle the t-" OMG! I just love the 'WTF am I SAYING?!' expression on his face when he realises what he's doing!

-"In some parts of the universe this is good eatin'!" Yes, but you still won't get me near one of them fugly lobster things.

-"Cross my heart, smack me dead, stick a lobster on my head!" You know I just love this quote, doncha?

-Oo. Floor is bloody under the table where TC was.

-Speaking of sticking things on head, that bandage on his eyebrow looks like a lego.

-Chromextin looks like powdered silly putty of death.

-"I HATE BEING USEFUL!" I think Rygel works where I do. He works weekends.

-DIE MISS CLEO! IF YOU'RE SO DAMN PSYCHIC, WHY DON'T YOU KNOW WE HATE YOU?!

-Chlorium! Ref aaaaaaall the way back to I, ET.

-Aeryn's got a bigger bag than TC. Before any of you guys start that 'Typical female' crap, may I remind you that Aeryn's bag is prolly full of guns?

-I love the way Anthony just absolutely DEADPANS 'I'm your daddy.' ROFL!

-"Oh, absolutely." I love evil glee. This Talvon dood pulls it off well.

-Pralanoth don't know his kids too well, do he? They're BIG LIARS!

-Fixing fixing splicing splicing I WORSHIP STARK!

-The look... Aeryn comes on to Talyn. Crais says something and stops mid sentence. Aeryn looks at him, then Crichton, and has this look on her face that reads 'Oh, great, this is going to be fanfrellingtastic. Let the testosterone fest begin!'

-Oh boy. Someone on the BB said a while back that the crews would split, and listed who would be on which ship. They predicted right. Whoever you are, you're either psychic, or you are going to start sharing your spoiler source with me, y'hear?!

-PK Vigilante ship looks like it could do some damage.

-The creature shifting back into it's normal form is creepy. And it's got a head from Aliens.

-Okay. Is the shifter working WITH Xhalax, or her pet? Anyone know? And DAMN, Red guy got back. I wonder if he's any relation to the pantsless Red Guy on Cow and Chicken.

-"He took Winona!" Well, you snooze, you lose.

-Ka D'Argo IS Guybrush Threepwood. I wonder if he knows any barbers named Dominque.

-"Yes, at least he's out of your nosehair." It's so nice to see D'Argo getting some really funny lines. At the beginning of the series, he was all broody and snarky. I like him better this way.

-"He just better be taking care of her." Even though he's really pissed at TC, MC is more worried about Aeryn's safety. That's the Crichton we know.

-Rygel says 'Feed me.' Lyme is not surprised.

-"My side, your side! My side, your side!" "Oh, don't start." Yeah, it was unnecessary, here.

-Shippers rejoice! It appears that Aeryn and Crichton are bunking together! WOOHOO!

And now for random stuff that didn't fit anywhere else in the review:

-Some ppl are speculating, due to some clips on a commercial, that Chi and MC might get together. I highly doubt it, because Chi and D'Argo aren't through yet. I think that Jool and MC might end up together, because of some of the stuff we saw in this ep, and well, because the writers are *that* evil. MC can't be too happy that TC took off with Aeryn, and might figure that he won't have a chance with her anymore. It's just a gut feeling, even though I'm holding out for Rygel/Jool. Heh.

-Also, I still don't really care for the whole two Crichtons plot. I don't like it. It leaves too much ambiguity and waaay too many ways for the writers to be evil. I don't like loose ends. However, they've been handling it admirably so far. It's interesting that they're apparently are going to carry this farther than one ep, which is something most other shows prolly wouldn't do. I wonder, since there was no trace of him in this ep - if Harvey is still in either Crichtons' head? I hope so, because he's funny. Maybe we'll find out next week.

-Anyway, this ep is a refresher after one like EM. There was some stuff I didn't like - the chip thing was kinda a let-down, and the lobster thing was kind of corny - but it was good. About the lobster thing... I love the creature shop. They do usually GREAT work. But I think they failed here with the lobster guys... they just looked silly. This ep was more like the eps we're used to... it seems Farscape has a pattern of better eps 1/3 of the way into the season. Also, this was good because it didn't have an ending that made me feel like simultaneously jumping out of a window and hanging myself. Yes, I fully well realise that dramas don't always have happy endings - but that doesn't automaticaly mean that they've got to have a pissingly depressing one. For both a NEW writer AND director, they did REALLY good!

-And next week... woohoo, the much awaited ep, GEM! It'll be either very shippy or very ANTI-shippy. You know which one I want. I mean... c'mon. "You want to fly out the ass?" *snerk* I can't wait.

This is *THE* Original (THE ORIGINAL! I *KILLED* my clone, HAH! Bet you didn't know I had one, did you?) Paranoid Citroid spastically signing off!

... but not before I shamelessly plug! www.lymophilia.com! Home of the Spastic Review Archive and lots of other Happy Fun stuff! GO LOOK, DAMMIT!

LBT