Self Inflicted Wounds : Part 2 -
Wait for the Wheel

Damn you, Kemper. Damn you. WTF is it with you and killing off my wimmin?! DAMN YOU! Anyway, it's 9:02, review time.

This review is brought to you by Bass Pro Shops, because, well... look, okay, the damn aliens look like fish and I can't come up with a better sponsor at the moment. That, and I just spilled beer all over the rug in my mom's computer room. (oops.)

Let's, in the words of Monty Python, 'GET ON WITH IT!':

- Good way to start an ep: With a buttshot! WOOP!

-That effect of the snake zipping past Crichton looked really, really good. I'm gonna have to find the whole CGI department and hump their legs, one by one (Trust me, that's a good thing.).

-Yoda! Reference back to I, ET, when Crichton said that planet looked like Dagobah. I love little bits of continuity like this.

-Aeryn looks really, really, really pissed when John says 'I can get home.' Uh, helloooo, writers? When are they gonna discuss this? Please? John and Aeryn need to have a serious talk about him getting home.

-Mr. Wiggles, the inter-wormhole snake. Hehehe. Yeah, yeah, I'm easily amused... haven't you figured that out yet?

-Lyme goes Hulk-mode: NO SABOTAGE MOYA! LYME SMASH! (hey, I'm already green, dammit.)

-Dood, with all this invisiblity talk, I'm having flash-backs to Invisible Man tonight (Those bastards! They killed Alianora! I *liked* her! Okay, I'm going on a tangent...). I half expected the fish-head dood to go invis with the quicksilvering effect, lol.

-BASTARDS! They *are* sabotaging Moya! Next stupid thought: "Something FISHY is going on here!" *snerk*

-Commercial break - Lyme acts stupid. General gyrating, singing 'Let's do the twist', and goin "Look. At. What. Good. Food. Does. To. ME!"

-BTW, what does 'Wait for the wheel' mean, anyway?

-Okay. Aeryn apparently knows that Harvey is still in John's head. Hoo boy.

-I love the editing on this bit, where the crew has split into two factions and are plotting. I find it somewhat interesting that Crichton, Chiana, and Rygel are all together. If you think about it (whoa, watch out, I'm having an insight, here) - these three, at some point, were or are the three most untrusted beings on the ship, and the ones who are most often underestimated. Interesting.

-LOL, "She *sheds*." Aeryn finds another Jool hair. Damn, and I though finding dog hair in my food was bad enough...

-Yay, we finally get to see the inside of the new ship! It's definitely a lot bigger than a Prowler, too.

-"You're not still feeling a little suicidal, are you?" *snerk*

-When D'Argo says the ship felt familiar, I had an interesting thought - is the ship maybe of Luxan design? Or Ilonic, perhaps? Enquiring minds want to know!

-What's with the laser light-show?

-It's good to see that D'Argo does realise that he was brushing Chiana off when he found Jothee. I noticed it, and I'm glad the writers had the decency to make D'Argo a good enough man to realise that by doing that, he made things worse. I love it when people can admit that they're wrong.

-Oh, okay, the wheel thingie explained. It's a passed-down Crichtonism, hehe.

-Zhaan with red eyes! EEEP! The dying thing has made her gone quicksilver mad! Er, uh... wrong show. The dying thing has made her succumb to her dark urges! Okay, that's better...

-The convo between Aeryn and Zhaan is well done. Zhaan's trying to convince Aeryn to stop being scared, and to *live* while she has the chance. "Use it wisely." Damn straight, Z, that's what I've been saying.

-Okay, what dumbass took the gag off Jool?

-Awww, poor Jool, did you have a really, really shitty vacation? Heh.

-Oh, my. Here comes a big paragraph. I absolutely *love* Stark getting sick of Jool's bitching and whining. It was *priceless*. Of course, I generally do enjoy it when Stark looses it, though, because it's always entertaining, and it indicates just how unpredictable he really is. He even goes "Me dead, you dead! Me dead, you dead!" What scares me though, is that Stark can also apparently give not-so-calming thoughts... which would not be a good thing if you really pissed him off. Also, he was kinda waxing Shakespearean with the talk about his love, Zhaan. I liked it. And once again, it's time for my obligatory 'SCREW YOU ALL! I LIKE STARK!'

-*pauses to suck down more beer* Mmm, beer. Does a body good. (little kids, if you're reading this, don't do like Lymey, actually wait til you're 21 before imbibing.)

-Okay. Now that I'm done with the Public Service Announcement... Interesting. The fish-head society is like the mob. They loan you out the ship, and if you don't bring it back, they make... watch out, bad pun coming... they make your family sleep with the fishes. *ducks rotten tomatos*

-When Aeryn says 'Wormhole technology', you can tell she's still majorly pissed off.

-Hehe, Fish-lady laughs funny. Hehe.

-Okay, when we see D'Argo talking about using DRD's to find the inviso-fish-man, I couldn't help but think "Bond. D'Argo Bond. I like my margarita shooters shaken, not stirred."

-*snerk* Infragreen DRDs. Not that I'm complaining about the color, mind you...

-Dooooood. D'Argo gets fancy with the swordwork. Woo! And then he takes Chi for a piggyback ride.

-When the generator thing starts going, I swear to god that at first I thought a car alarm was going off somewhere down the street in my neighborhood.

-Rygel is being supersnarky about fixing Moya. I like the little grin Stark has on his face when he tells Rygel that "I was your proxy" for the vote. Heheh.

-SOMEONE SHUT. HER. UP!! (do I really need to say who?)

-John tells Jool to Zip it! LOL! I swear, I was having flashbacks of Austin Powers 2! "Zip it! Zippppit! Would you like a suckle on my... zipple? When a problem comes along, you must zip it! *cracks a whip*"

-Cool story about Zhaan wishing D'Argo would've killed her in a hyper-rage. It is ironic, Blue.

-I don't like this fatalistic actitud Zhaan is sporting. Bodes badly.

-Stark and Rygel are bonding. Hehe, how cute.

-Freddy Kruger-land... and John calling Jool 'Princess'... how apt. Seriously. BTW, that *is* a good question - why did Jool survive? I figured she was snatched for body parts, too... I guess that's all the explination we're going to get, ey?

-Man... roflmao... ONLY on Farscape would you hear 'Welcome to the Federation STarship SS BUTTCRACK!' ROFLMAO! O! M! G! Was that an adlib? I suspect it was, it's too damn funny...

-"Serpent!" *screech* Oh, man, that was funny. Jool's such a wussy. But you have to admit, the fishlady knows what she's doing. She's a cunning little fish, innit she?

-Uhm, Aeryn, dear, this is not a good time to have a fight with John, dear.

-"I got a plan." Oy, how many times have we heard that?

-"Crichton, you IDIOT!" *snerk*

-Things I Did Not Know: Moya apparently has air-bladders. I wonder if she has a regular bladder, too?

-I can't help but noticing that everyone is pissed at John tonight. Granted, some of it is warranted, but, hell, give the guy a break. He didn't know a ship was going to come rocketing out of the wormhole and spear Moya.

-The return of Heavy D. Oy gevalt.

-Uhm, okay, what, may I ask, is sticking out of Jool's cleavage?

-Organ music? Again?! NO! NO! Organ music means that bad stuff is gonna happen!

-GO! (okay, everyone on the show said it, I couldn't resist.)

-Awww... the comment about how MOya raised them... *sniff* so sweet...

-EEeeee, Scorpy in a tux! That's so, uhm... weird.

-"That's my DAD'S TUX!" *snerk* I love this. Wayne gets a chance to be comedic with Harvey. that 'YEAH!' he gives just had me rolling. In fact, the whole truck-stop scene was damn funny. Of course, I want to know what female wouldn't stop for a hitchhiking John Crichton?

-Yay, welcome back, Pilot! After this scene, I *so* want a Pilot plush toy. Heh.

-Interesting that Neeyala says that Humans know more about this stuff than any other species she's encountered. Hey! We're not so higher-brain deficient after all! But then again, I doubt her culture has had much contact outside of their species, *sigh*

-"Another set of bad guys chasing us?" Oy vey, LOL! That's exactly what I said! As if the PKs, Nebari, and Scarrans weren't enough!

-Wow, Jool's scream finally comes in handy when it melts the points on the barbs in Neeyala's head. Although, here's a nitpick - technically, shouldn't the barbs be made out of some sort of organic material? I'm assuming they are produced naturally in the body, and not implanted.

-Heh. I was having cartoon flashbacks when Neeyala vaporized.

-Commercial break - Note to self: DO NOT headbang with your hair in a braid. It really hurts when it whaps you in the forehead, and it leaves a mark.

-Rygel channels Sally Fields, take one: "Pilot *likes* me!"

-Look at the expression on Jool's face when she first sees Pilot - she's freaked out and awed at once.

-Heeey, it's that joystick thingie that we havent' seen since the premiere! Yay! This must be 'Reference to really really early season 1 eps' night!

-I love how Aeryn and Crichton are both ready to instantly sacrifice themselves when they find out that someone's going to end up dead.

-NO DIE ZHAAN!

-Oh, who'm I kidding? We all knew it was coming. The evil dastardly PTB are gonna kill off Blue! DAMMIT! BTW, cue Stark freaking out like he's never freaked out before.

-*sniff* This is gonna make me cry, goddammit.

-Oh, dammit, the goodbye speech Zhaan gives actually makes me start crying... it was so eloquent...

-Okay, double-dammit. When Rygel says 'Goodbye, you big, beautiful, blue bitch' I broke down into tears. That's right. A muppet has reduced the mighty manly Lyme BloodTalon to tears.

-God... the shot of Zhaan on the alien ship from the distance is so beautifully done... I'm starting to tear up again just thinking about it... deep breaths, deep breaths...

-Oh, btw, did anyone else think 'PROXIMITY ALERT!' when Aeryn and Crichton were getting banged around in Command? You probably won't, unless you've seen the TFAL commentary on the second DVD...

-Okay, I found myself being immensely cheered up by the goofy SportsCenter commercial with CarrotTop. Heh.

-DAMMIT! Why couldn't TPTB have killed Miss Cleo?! KILL HER!

-BTW, next week, from the preview looks... uh, confusing.

-Oh, man... all these shots of Moya made me sit back and go, 'Poor, poor beat up Moya. Someone's gotta start a Society Against Moya Abuse.'

-Rygel looks so small next to Pilot. I liked this... Rygel is really laying it on thick.

-Rygel channels Sally Fields, take two: "I like you Pilot. I like you a lot."

-Okay. Chi gets off some *great* lines at Jool. "Get better shoes," to begin with, was wonderful. It absolutely touched on my peeve about impractical clothing in battle. Then, the "For me? 3 sex acts." line about the cost of shoes was absolutley priceless.

-Stark with a scalpel. This generated two thoughts:
1. You better not stab Aeryn, or I won't like you anymore.
2. Dood, Stark, if you don't get help at Charter, get help somewhere. Actually, don't go to Charter. It's bullshit, they stuff you full of meds, charge $1,500 a day, and serve fish waaaay too often in the cafeteria. Their cure-all is saying you're depressed. But, uhm, whoa... you can't tell that that just went personal, can you? I digress.

-Another thought, after Stark talking about Zhaan: At least she was at peace with herself when she died. That has to be the best way to go. It also explains why Stark isn't a bigger mess right now.

-Okay, Zhaan was in the mirror in her quarters! What's going on here? Does that mean her ghost is there?

-The end bit with Harvey and John in a black suit was great. You know he feels extraordinarily guilty for this, even though he couldn't have known what was going to happen when he saw that wormhole. Harvey's just making it worse, too. It's a nice touch how the ep ended with John getting pissed and throwing his bottle of beer (mmm, beer... hey, dammit, who drank all my beer? Oh, wait, I did. Hehe.). That one action sums up the frustration of this ep perfectly.

-All in all? A great ep. Although, David Kemper has a sadistic streak about 15 miles wide. WTF is it with him and killing people off?! I suspect that we will see Zhaan in the future - because, to be crude, we didn't get her head on a jinka pole as confirmation of death. Of course, with TPTB, and the curveballs they like to throw us, she just might *stay* dead.

LBT, who is drained.