Self Inflicted Wounds : Part 1 -
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm late. I'm at home, and have to use my mom's comp... and she's been on it until 10:30. Anyway, here's for the spasticity.

This week's ep is brought to you jointly by Hynerian Travel Agencies: "We take you where *WE* wanna go!" and Drammamine.

-D'Argo's snarky. It's understandable though. He's being kinda rough with that Interon pod, tho, ain't he?

-Oh, hey, waitasec, D'Argo's got a new outfit! He's started wearing leather like EVERYONE else in the crew except Zhaan, now.

-Hey, the cool ship is still there... and they still haven't broken into it.

-Eeeeew, poor Zhaan. She's defininitely getting worse, and you can see how badly it's affecting Stark. She seems to have accepted it - for Stark, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder.

-roflmao, Crichton's bouncing the ball inside the clamshell! ROFLMAO! That *would* be something he would do...

-WORMHOLE! OMG OMG OMG! (okay, yeah, so I knew it was coming. I still have to scream 'WORMHOLE!')

-Insert Snarky comment from Lymey's dad: "Is that the invisible man coming through the wormhole?" (yeah, yeah, I forced my parents to sit thru I-man tonight.) BTW, the way the ship sorta materialized was some kickass CGI.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. John is LAYIN on the technobabble! There, that should satisfy some of the ppl who are getting snarky about 'Whatever happened to Scientist John?' He's still there, he's just been stuck in 'Oh my god, Scorpy's in my head and wants to kill me' mode for a while.

-Commercial break... must kill the Amerlink people... 'Not in front of the dog you won't!' *gag* Someone needs their eyeballs stabbed out.

-First thought on seeing the ship stuck in Moya: "Moya's been shish-kabobbed! AHhh!"

-Creepy fish-lookin alien chick.

-Aeryn's first reaction when there's a problem is to look at Crichton and yell, 'WHAT DID YOU DO!' Okay, I guess some things never change, hehe.

-Is it just me, or does Sparky have a new collar?

-I have "NO TMI!' written here. I have no clue why. Yes, as you can tell, I have started on the beers. Hehe.

-Okay, is it just me, or did the Neeyala chick (sp? Hell... don't ask me just yet, I'll figure out the correct spelling once I check the journey logs) mention a Consortium? Was I the only one who instantly thought "Consortium? Like, mebbe, the Consortium of Trao?" Just curious.

-Things Lymey thought she'd never see on Farscape, take 345: Pilot BLOWS CHUNKS! This whole thing had me ROFL so hard I missed half of what was going on. Pilot pukes green, btw, a nice color choice if I say so myself... and Stark's standing there, green vomit gooped on his face, trying to get answers out of Pilot... omg, I nearly pissed myself laughing at this.

-*snerk* The Star Trek reference was just great. Hehe.

-GAH! GAH! This is sad that I know what John's talking about when he says 'We're not on the fairway... we're in the rough?' See, I know more about golf than I EVER WANTED TO (and I never wanted to know anything about golf, heh.)

-EARTH! EARTH! ERP! HEY THAT WAS ERP! Zhaan saw EEEEERP! Too bad she didn't know that it *was* Earth...

-Zhaan's got a fuzzy new coat. This season is the season of Fuzzy Coats. First Rygel, then Stark, now Zhaan.

-Waitasec, they said put Zhaan in the ground. I guess they seriously are talking about replanting her. Huh, go fig.

-Finally, we get a better explanation of why Stark is so nutty. Seeing and feeling thousands of people die is definitely bound to have a negative effect on one's sanity. And, now, it's time for my customary screaming of 'SCREW YOU ALL! I LIKE STARK!' There. On to the next bit.

-Col. Klink. Oh, man, does that bring up weird mental images.

-BTW, I just figured out what 'NO TMI' means... No Translator Microbes! (see some point I made up near the top or something.) Finally, another race that wasn't given TMs at birth! It's also interesting that only one alien, Neeyala, is willing to get them.

-I knew immediately when D'Argo said he needed help, that Chiana was gonna end up showing up. She does feel guilty about what she did last week, and she's trying to patch things up with D'Argo. It's good that we're seeing fallout from this whole relationship.

-"I'm kinda in the mood to be destructive." You and D'Argo both, babe.

-Hello, Jool. My, you have funky hair.

-I had to LOL at Rygel talking about waking up and gurgling and dying. And then even further when John goes 'C'mon sleeping beauty, wake up and die.'

-She has freaky, lime green eyes. Of COURSE I like them. It would be wrong of me not to. But they are freaky. Actually, now that I think about it, they're more of a tommyknocker green than a lime green...

-She's got a STUPID uniform. Oy vey, hello cleavage city. How the hell is she keeping her top up? And what's the point of that collar?! (In case you didn't know, one of my pet peeves involves women going into battle and such not properly dressed. Like, wearing heels, hair in the face, in a microbikini... I could go on, but I've got to finish this review)...

-Jool has no eyebrows! AHHH! AHHH! *is creeped out*

-Sparky is *not* an animal! He's a dominar, you funky-haired popcicle!

-Okay, her full name is *what* NOW?! Joolsomethingsomethingdewhatwhatwho?! I'm having flashbacks of the 5th element, when Leeloo first tells Korbin her name...

-Okay, damn. This girl must be part cluster lizard. She does that freaky Xev scream, except hers melts metal. *runs for cover from all the shoes being thrown at her for the Lexx reference* That's right, I *like* Lexx! Eat me, dammit!

-Sparky gets vicious. AGain. Holy rabid Hynerians, batman!

-Commercial break... hey, Exposure looks really good this week... I *still* haven't seen George Lucas in Love...

-*snerk* The comment on how 2 Chiana's could possibly be a *good* thing... "That so depends..." *rofl* Okay, dirty mind, dirty mind, git thee behind me, libido.

-Aeryn and John are sharing a cup again. You just have to be a shipper to notice this miniscule kind of stuff.

-Poor Pilot. He's getting beat down on this ep.

-"She doesn't like you." Oh, how wrong you are, Neeyala. Wait, no, you're right. She doesn't like him, she loves him and wants to jump his bones, yeah. That's better. I love how Aeryn's pissed at Crichton for going out and risking his life. "Insane." "Since birth."

-The recording device given to John looks like some funky piece of modern art.

-Song interlude: "I'm feeling... GLAD ALL OVER! I'm feeling... GLAD ALL OVER!" *thwack* Erm, sorry, heard it on the radio today, and it's been stuck in my head since then...

-Uhm, Stark, nutbunny? Why are you sniffing Aeryn? Yeah, we know she's pretty, but, uhm, you're creeping me out, dear. TPTB better not have Stark developing some sort of crush on Aeryn. Dammit.

-Okay, these freaky aliens remind me of fish. Okay? They look fishy.

-"Animal?" Dammit, Jool, you must be channeling Natira. Stop calling people 'Animal'. It freaked me out when she did it, it's not any better when you're doing it.

-Good save, Chiana. I don't think Jool would react too well to knowing that one of her crewmates was sacrificed to save Crichton.

-lolol, did Chiana just call Jool 'Hair-do?' Oh, I *so* love this nick. I'm latching on to it, dammit.

-Rygel, you are really being an ass this ep. WTF are you telling Jool that Chi slept with Jothee?

-!!! OMG ROFLMAO! That was HILARIOUS when Chi pulls a big long hair out of her mouth! Oh, man, it's touches like that that make you love this show...

-Rygel in the module brought this one thought: "This is you're captain speaking. My name's John Crichton, and this is my Co-Pilot, Buckwheat."

-Okay, there was this noise going on in the background after they stablized the module. It made me say 'HEY! You left your blinkers on!' (Cause, you see, it sounded like a car blinker thingie... look, people, it's not funny if I have to explain it!)

-Did Crichton just say 'The f-ing zone?!' Yeah, baybee.

-D'Argo, dammit, because your love life blows is no reason to go planting doubts in Aeryn about Crichton. Okay? We good shippers know that true love will prevail (it better, do you hear me, DK?? Ah, but more on you at the end, my friend.)

-Okay, my reaction was the same as Aeryn's to the snake thingie: "WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT!?"

-Oy, Rygel's picked up some Crichtonisms. 2 cycles ago, you'd never hear the Dominar say 'We're all just waiting for the chance to screw the others over!'

-Aw. Stark and Zhaan are being shippy... too bad it's bad shippy, since she's dying. Zhaan is just getting really screwed over.

-*Lymey goes AFK right here for an hr to watch the second showing of Farscape... grr* Okay... back.

-SHIT! Sparky, what are you doing?! Dammit, you do something worthy, and then you have to go and make me want to smack you again!

-I love how Crichton then proceeds to elbow Rygel in the head about 10 times, and *man* he's doing that heavy through-the-nostrils I'm-really-pissed breathing. Yeah, he did deserve it, Crichton... btw, new Rygel nickname alert: Rugrat.

-HEY! Fish-head! Aeryn does *not* smell bad! (Well, I'm pretty sure she doesn't, I can't say I've smelled her.)

-Wormhole creature snake thingies? Are these like those guys who live in Starburst in TTLG?

-I like how when Jool starts shrieking away again Chiana, Aeryn, and Zhaan all shout 'SHUT UP!' in unison... and then Chi claps her hand over Jool's mouth... damn, Hair-do has a set of lungs on her, ey?

-Okay, this is like, Ep of The Snarky Name Calling. Now D'Argo is calling poor Pilot bug-eyed.

-Hehe, Ryge's nose-bandaid is funny. I like how he admits that he does value Zhaan's input, btw. I just wish Rygel would stop being a bastardly little bugger half the time.

-Hey, dammit, Sparky, you do NOT wanna try and kill John. There's about 200-some-odd SACCers who wouldn't be happy. Not to mention IGDET...

-Scorpy in the haiiiiid!

-*snerk* John in erp clothes! Hey, waitasec, what, no Mambo shirt?

-This is frightening. Harvey now has a sense of humor. "Faster delivery of pizzas!" "I long for the dumpster." ROFLMAO!

-Jool is annoyingly snarky, uppity... and clumsy. I love that little 'OOMPH!' she gives when she falls over on her ass.

-F. Lee? As in F. Lee Bailey, Crichton?

-Oh, Rygel, you bastard. There you go, being bastardly again. Now he's gonna tell Jool about the death of her Interon friend.

-Chiana feels guilty. Yeah, I know a lot of fans are probably going, 'So what, she's a slut. I don't like her anymore.' Well, I do. I feel sorry for her.

-Why is Aeryn in a pissy mood? I mean, I know the whole thing about Pilot, Moya, Zhaan is definitely causing it, but she seems to be displaying it especially towards Crichton.

-Red Hair? WTF? Didn't she have orange-ish blonde hair before? Does she have Mood Hair? Is it the latest in UT fashions?!

-"I thought you were good with women." Yeah, well, look at his track record as of late, D'Argo... I'm not gonna say any more on this...

-"LOCK. THIS. WOMAN. UP." Even when D'Argo's down in the dumps, he can be funny as all hell.

-The fish-heads are planning to do something naughty. What's this real reason they have for being there, hmmm?

-NO ABANDON MOYA! Dammit, Aeryn, you should be one of the most vocal people AGAINST abandoning Moya and Pilot, you shouldn't be advocating it! You share DNA, for frell's sake!

-That spiral ship is one damn funky ship. It looks like some sort of weird messed up DNA strand from the 1970's.

-BTW, I was wondering... what is that thing on Aeryn's wrist? Did she get hurt, and I did I miss it?

-You know that that comment Neeyala made about taking someone's life hit Aeryn hard. After all she's been through - not to mention Zhaan's recent sacrifice - you can tell it struck a nerve.

-*sniff* poor Pilot. The scene with John sitting in front of Pilot's console was just so sad, but well done.

-Hey, whoa, that's the Three Stooges! Did Sam Raimi direct this ep? (Okay, yeah, yeah, I know he didn't... I couldn't resist... nyah nyah woop woop woop woop!)

-AHhh! The Snake thing tried to bite off Crichton's bits and pieces!

-Well, that was my random spasticity for SIW1. I liked the ep, although it's definitely a depressing one. Aeryn is definitely unhappy about something other than Moya and Pilot, Crichton is too distracted by the wormholes, Zhaan is dying, Chiana and D'Argo apparently *aren't* as over as we thought, Stark is acting a little creepy(er), and Rygel's plotting to stab people in the eyes with scalpels again.

As for next week... it looks like things are gonna get a whole hell of a lot worse. But, we get to see Scorpy in a Tux (how weird is THAT?!). Unfortunately, it looks like someone will die. Permanently, and for good, as in 'Durka head on a Jinka pole' dead. And I'm worried it will be Zhaan. A *lot* of people have been wondering why Ginny's been free to do so many cons lately, and I'm fearing that this may be the reason why. I hope they don't kill off Zhaan, because she still has so much undeveloped potential... but I think her future looks bleak...


LBT, who is gonna run over to chat, 3 1/2 hrs late - HEY! Is that a squirrel?!

LBT