Suns and Lovers

Boogity, pplz, it's that time again... no, not *that* time... It's 9:02 on Friday night. God, some of you out there are perverted! Anyway... it's 9:02, and time for Lymey's Spastic Review (and doesn't that rhyme so nicely?!)

This ep is brought to you by Crazy Glue. C'mon. You know they just *had* to get the sponsorship on this ep... O-TAY! Let's start, shall we?


-Roll I-man credits, watch Lyme do the moronic 'Wheeee, Farscape time!' dance! See? This is why I don't dance.

-And we open this week... with Rygel watching porn. Oh, Ryge, we didn't know you were so lonely! Get my man Ryge a Hynerian concubine, DK!

-Okay, homage to HyperKinetic. I just have to do this... "ORN PAY!"

-Cool space-station. It's colorful. Ooooh, the purty colors...

-John is drunk. Ayup. He's getting sloshed.

-AHHH! There's the Walrus - where's the Eggman (Goo goo ga-joob!)?

-Dood. LeatherGirl, the Felip Nectar Stand appears in a real ep of Farscape. After the Scorpy/John fight that just screamed DRAyKE bout last week, it's pretty much assured that DK is reading this board. Hey, DK, do you think you could throw a MONKEY! into an ep for me? Please?

-D'Argo... Heavy D... *snerk* Oh, no, bad mental images, bad!

-D'Argo and Chi? Those tattoo-thingies? Oh, that ain't gonna happen D'Argo. I don't need to be Miss Cleo to tell you that (and I wouldn't either, I can't fake the accent like her...)

-Poor D'Argo man. He is gonna get so screwed over this ep.

-More Chi/Jothee porn. Yeah, that is 'Crazy and creepy,' I mean, you're having sex with two dead guys on ice... eeeew... Hehe, I bet they like to watch... okay, the word 'necrophilia' is coming to mind, so I am getting OFF this train of thought.

-Mmmm, necrophilia... OKAY, STOPPIT Lymey! Dammit! *slaps herself around*

-"His Eminence" Stark? Ooookay... Zhaan's get-up this ep is making me think 'Muslim woman'... Whyfor the hood, Blue? I could add a bald joke here, but I'm not that creative tonight.

-*snerk* Aeryn? Makeup? *falls over laughing*... Righty-o, John-boy. No, Aeryn bought the essentials - GUNS! That's my girl, she really knows how to shop!

-Okay. The security force on this station is heavily into the body modifications scene. LOOK! They've got implants, tats, brandings, and funky hair... prolly some piercings too, but I don't wanna know where...

-Hehe, Crichton's getting a rep. WHOA?! Waitasec, raping? Popping Eyeballs?! I love his bit about 'There was no raping, very little plundering, and Frau Blucher did all the eye-popping!' Classic man... but uh, way to give yourself away... yeesh.

-Grunt? Aeryn, that woman just called you a grunt. Wipe the floor with her ass, now. Please?

-*snerk* "My grunt does all the killing..." Right now, all of a sudden, that song Joxer on Xena used to sing popped into my head, except it's something like "Crichton the mighty..." *dodges tomatos* okay, I won't sing it... *looks around* Wokka wokka wokka!

-Everyone, say it with me now... ERPQUAKE!

-Moya has an elastic skin. Interesting.

-Eeew, the Interon is moving. Okay, I can't help it, but this must be night of a thousand tunes... "99 pods of interons on the wall, 99 pods of interons, have a crash, lower your stash, 98 pods of interons on the wall!" We're down to one interon, buddy-o!

-Chi's little yell at Jothee had me snerking. Just the way she stood and said it.. hehe...

-Slut? Ooooh, burn. I guess Rygel doesn't like Chi/Jothee porn.

-Do I even want to know what part of Rygel's anatomy is a 'fattick' or whatever Chiana said? Prolly not.

-Keep your legs shut... damn, Rygel is getting off some good burns today!

-Okay, I cannot tell if the Walrus' name is Mortal, Modal, Mordul, or Midol. I'll continue to call him Walrus...

-parasins? Monj, you are just throwing the new words at us like there's no tomorrow in this ep.

-Well, I for one, didn't think we'd see an interon awake this early. Nice hair, by the way, interon dood. You look like a vampire wanna-be...

-*snerk* He heard a thumping sound, but it didn't last long... Jothee's a typical teenager! Ahahaha! Ha!

-Oh, wait, eeew, don't puke on nekkid Jothee. Eeew.

-Hey, it's that tunnel from the undressed commercial? Where's my ZIP! Zip? Please? C'mon, Monj.

-relieve the tension... okay, yeah, everyone was right. Aeryn's trying to have her cake and eat it, too, without emotional baggage.

-Fluid levels, ey? I like how Crichton goes, 'What, Valvoline? Break Fluid?'... oh, stop playing innocent!

-oooo, two hands... I don't need charity... okay, that was a pretty bad self-burn, but hey, dammit... I'd take what I could get... Of course, I'm a rabid shipper, tho, and we know John wouldn't do that because it wouldn't be 'just sex'... so on and so forth, you know the drill..

-ZIIIIIIP! SHE UNZIPPED! And promptly falls through the floor. Damn you, Monj. BTW, Aeryn, I don't think Crichton is afraid of your... tracts of land. Quite the opposite, I bet...

-Monj needs a spanking. Dammit. Spank him hard.

-You know, I have to admit that at least Aeryn doesn't play coy and all that crap. She's blunt and to the point. "We can have sex if you want!" Damn, John has such ADMIRABLE restraint...

-Commercial break. I need to pee really BAD! I don't know why I'm telling you this. TMI time, ey?

-Pledge Grab-it gloves? Hehe, those look funny. I want one!

-I'm tellin all y'all it's SABOTAGE! I immediately expect body mods security chick. Ayup.

-Whoa. That ship they grabbed has a cool shield. Thank you, CGI guys, that was pretty cool.

-Perfume... ahaha... D'Argo teasing Jothee about this is just classic...

-SO! The DRDs can be taken off of moya and still be functional... interesting... *steeples her fingers a-la-Mr. Burns and has Smithers take note on the DRD thing*

-Stark has major self-control problems. But he's still my lil nutbunny.

-Zhaan has leprosy?! Eeew, that's really gross, blue. I take back the bald joke thing. Anyway, what's this about a planet with soil and moisture? Are we going to replant Zhaan?!

-Nice cover, Chi, when D'Argo almost catches you. Couldn't have done better myself.

-Although, D'Argo is so definitely suspicious that somethin funky's happening. Oh, look, he figures it out.

-I like how Jothee all of a sudden starts calling D'Argo by his name instead of Dad. It fits, somehow, that when he gets pissed, he drops the happy son routine.

-Monj must really be into body mods or something. I mean, now we have Jothee getting branded by D'Argo. By the way, that cannot be sanitary...

-AHA! I told you about the body mods chick! She's the one! AHA! I was right!

-AHH! She did a creepy eye-thing! After I-man tonight, I was SO not in the mood for creepy eye-things! And she's flying, too! WHAT THE FRECK!?

-"Dood, she's STUCK!" Okay, that just made me rofl.

-Oh, man, Rygel is slaying me right about now. "Kill her and cut her down!" *ram* *ram* *ram* Oh, man, he gets off SO many good lines! I love Ryge right now... And then he shoves a sock in her mouth! ROFLMAO!

-Whoa. Everyone is getting sloshed this ep. I swear...

-Yeah, they quite obviously weren't thinking, John. They're teenagers... you expect Chi and Jothee to think about the consequences of having wild, crazy, kinky sex?

-Fridge Magnet?! BWAHAHAH! DAMMIT! This is some funny shit!

-As soon as they opened that cryopod to catch crazy body mods chick, I said 'Oooh, that's gonna hurt!' I was kinda disappointed when it didn't...

-My mom walks in at this point and says that Walrus looks like Jabba the Hut. I spend 2 minutes explaining that they're prolly nothing alike. After all, Jabba didn't have EIGHT LEGS! (eeew, kill it, kill it, it's got more than four legs!)

-Pilot said 'Shut up!' hehe. Pilot's got the 'tude.

-We finally see the outside of Moya in close-up detail...

-Now my mom's saying that Walrus reminds her of Fat Bastard. Oy vey... now I have this mental image of him screaming 'GIT IN MAH BELLY!'

-"Frell me dead." Do I even need to comment further?

-Hey, I just realised, we get a Crichton buttshot! Even if it is in one o those space suit thingies...

-John, having Chi look after D'Argo is not exactly a good idea.

-Oh god, she's stuck to another wall, isn't she? Who she think she is, Spiderman?! GET DOWN!

-Bwahaha, John the weatherman. John Crichton, come to DFW and by my weatherman! Troy Duncan pisses me off, and he wears those stupid little bowties...

-But the door is detachable... bwahahaha! John's got the 'tude now! WOO!

-Pilot cackles. Okay, there is something inherently wrong about Pilot cackling evilly. I want to know what's so funny...

-Ugh. Who seriously pays $40 to watch wrestlemania? Are you ppl fahrbot?! Yee gods...

-Whee! Houston, we have star-charts. Actually, Stark has them, but he's screaming something about my-side your-side again...

-John and Aeryn tell Rygel to shut up in unison. Awww, that's so cute I could punch my nuts off. If I had any. And you have no idea how much I've been dying to say 'so cute I could punch my nuts off' this week.

-Backlog? Aw, dammit, just frell each other. C'mon. Now, raise your hand if you think John was gonna tell Aeryn that she was right before she said that *he* was right... or am I alone on this one?

-The whole convo between Chi and Jothee about her using him... pretty good.

-Bibi Jothee? Hmm. I expected him to be around at least a little while longer... oh, well, I'm sure we'll see him again.

-Oh, look! Chiana and D'Argo's relationship just went up in flames! Literally! Poor D'Argo... It will be interesting to see the impact Chiana and D'Argo's breakup has on the rest of the crew... because you know they're gonna be sniping at one another for some time.

-Where do I stand on this ep? Well, as I usually do after one viewing, in the middle ground. I'm weird that way. Well, the first time I saw BOD, I didn't like it. Now, it's one of my favorite eps... same goes for WGFA... As the song goes, "Only time will tell!"

Now, I'm off to go vote in that I-man thingie...

LBT, spastically signing off