Infinite Possibilities, Part 2: Icarus Abides

Bah humbug.

Okay, I know, wrong holiday, but hey, it fits. To think, a few days ago, I was actually getting into the holiday spirit for the first time in years.

Stick with me, here. There's actually a spastic review, but you're going to have to suffer my somewhat-OT rant first. Unless you scroll ahead, at which point I call you a rat bastid.

So, I drag my comp home with me this past Tuesday, figuring, 'I'll hook it up and be on the internet by 3 PM, and have that spastic review I wrote up on Sunday published to the BB by dinner time.' Little did I know that the networking card in my comp that allows me to connect indirectly to the cable modem on my mom's comp was fried. So, see Lymey. See Lymey freaking over the next 36 hours, trying to fix it. See Lymey take it to Best Buy, where THEY couldn't fix it. See Lymey give up and buy a new card, install new card (correctly, too, dammit! Boy howdy, did I get a crash course in installing hardware cards in the past 2 days...) only to find out that for some obscure reason, she can connect to her mother's computer via a network, yet cannot access the internet. See Lymey finally break down into a sobbing mess. Oh, yeah, throw some screaming and kicking of the computer tower in there around 6 PM Tuesday night.

Oh, yeah. See Lymey laying face down under a desk in her mom's study banging her head on the floor, only to have her mom ask 'What's wrong?'. Then see Lymey's incredulous 'What the hell do you mean, WHAT'S WRONG?!' reaction. See Lymey talking in the third person.

Like I said, bah humbug.

The only reason I'm managing to get this review out at all is because I broke down and used my mom's comp. Y'know, I knew there was a reason I called my computer 'Junkbox', and not just because I need the internet like a junkie needs his junk. Because it's a PIECE of junk.

Sometimes, I just hate technology.

Okay. So. Having taken a shower, found some booze, and having ranted, I'm feeling a bit better. A lot less like one really pissed off Denis Miller on crack. Although I'm still muttering what has become my mantra in the past few weeks: "It should be easy. It's never easy!" Crack skittles to you if you can Name That Ep.

So, of course, I'm in TOTALLY the wrong mindset to do a spastic review, especially one for IP2, which required lots of intoxication. Oh, yeah, for those rat bastids who decided to scroll past my rant? Stop scrolling, dammit. You've reached the more On-Topic stuff now.

Oh, man, boy howdy, did this ep hurt. We all knew the death of Talyn Crichton was coming (What?! You didn't know he was dead?! GO BACK TO YOUR CAVE! Er, unless you're from the UK. But if you are, well, DUH, you should know to expect spoilers out the ass from me.), but DAMN, it still hurt. They just had to give us the good shippyness, then take it away, and... well, you know the ranting. I still want to stab DK in the eye for this. Having no personal life of my own to speak of, I live vicariously through television characters, and it does not make me happy when they, like, DIE!

Yeah. So. Appypollyloggies in advance if this review isn't as entertaining or full of more snark than normal than usual tonight. But, hey, BITE ME.

Now, in the words of Monty Python, 'Get on with it!'

-Damn. This is one looooooooooooooong 'previously on farscape' this week. I mean, whoo. it's bathroom-break long.

-I have something written here that says 'Stark VD!' Which really doesn't make sense. Stark's not getting any, and I don't want him to have a Venereal Disease.

-Oh, wait, I just realised. It's 'VO'. Voice over. Oh, yeah! Stark did the voice over for 'And now, on Farscape' this week. Spiiiiiffy.

-Hmm, we come in, at Aeryn holding the gun to Harvey's head. At this point, I yell, 'Aeryn! Kill him! Kill him! WAIT! That's Crichton, don't kill him! Don't kill him!'... ScorpyJohn makeup confuses me.

-"It's not easy, is it? Putting a pulse blast in John Crichton?" oooh, owwie. Owwie. Harvey, please stop mindfrelling the angry woman with the gun.

-EEEEEW! Now he's propositioning Aeryn! Much as I want to do naughty whip-cream and chocolate syrup related things to John Crichton's body... eeeeew, with Harvey's mind? Eeeeeeeew. *shudder*

-oooo. Jack is a know-it-all. He woke up just in time to stop Aeryn from killing Crichton. Too bad he DIES LATER ANYWAY!

-"Next time... be more decisive." "A soldier must not be weak. Weakness means defeat." Maaan, this is all so prophetic. We know right there that TPTB are setting Aeryn up to seriously think about reverting back to PK Ice Queen.

-"Hey, baby, he's gone." WOOHOO! WOOHOO! Harvey's gone! Talyn Crichton is SOOOOOOOOOOO DEAD! Woohoo! But, hey, you gotta love the big dren-eating grin on Crichton's face. Too bad it couldn't last.

-Yes, this whole review is going to be filled with snarky little comments like 'too bad he DIES!'... Heh. I know. I'm a sadomasochist, I have to rub it in. Oh, yeah, baybee, make it hurt sooooo gooood... sometimes love don't feel like it shou- *smack* Okay, I stop singing now.

-*pauses, looks at the clock* *gives Thanksgiving the finger while knocking back her beer*

-dun dun DUUUUN! They landed the transport pod in bay 1... bay 2 is open... the calls are coming from inside the house! Er... nm...

-LOL! SCARRAN! Dood, he gets a fun entrance. Crais screaming never ceases to entertain me. Can you imagine filming this scene? "Okay, Lani, Paul, scream like girls and flail madly while Thomas Holesgrove (?? I think he's the guy who played the Scarran. I'm too lazy to look it up. He usually plays Aliens In Heavy Prosthetics. Like scarrans) points at you."

-Hee. I love those Chronicle commercials. "How was the antichrist?" "Full of crap!"

-Okay. Random thought about the title: If Icarus abided, shouldn't he have LIVED?! I mean, in the story, Icarus doesn't listen to his dad and flies too close to the sun, melting his wax wings and dying. If he'd abided, he'd not have melted his wings and died. John listened to Jack, but went boom anyway.

-Woohoo, Aeryn and John gettin smoochy and all friendly in the back there. Yeah, enjoy it while you can...

-Whoa. Jack unlocked the wormhole tech by tapping Crichton on the back of the head. I want his superpowers. No, wait, I just want him to tap me on the back of the head. Then I'd be like, really smart and stuff.

-Dayum. Aeryn is all OVER him... and in public... she always struck me as the type who would only be affectionate in private, not one for PDA's...

-Aaaw. Poor Rygel. Puppet go boom.

-Hehee. OCB, the good kind. Y'know, where they bash Crais. But he deserves it for making life a living hell for Crichton for so long. And for trying to mack on Crichton's woman.

-When the Scarran goes 'Tell me no lies', does anyone else get the urge to yell, 'Well, then ask me no questions!'?

-GOOOOO STARK! "I'm his slave, and I *hate* him. Kill him and make me your slave!" Dood, it's eps like this that remind me why I so love Stark. He's funny, he's unpredictable, and he's the hugest mystery on this show so far. Think about it - we know literally next to nothing about his past.

-"That's cool." Whoa. When John says that, and gets that 'Whoa, dude!' look on his face, I hear Jay in the back of my head, saying 'I think this shit just kicked in, Silent Bob!'

-Whee! Save the puppet! You know what I love about Rygel? He can NEVER DIE. He costs too much for them to kill off.

-"Bring me food!" And Rygel's talking strategy? I love it when Ryge does something really useful and shows his better qualities.

-GO JOHN! Lookit him building and building and building! I luv it when Crichton gets to play 'See, I really am a scientist!'

-Uh oh. "What are we building?" That's not a good sign...

-'put all the toothpaste back into the tube...' okay, I'm going to work this into a convo some day. Really.

-Eeek! No kill Aeryn! No kill John! JAAAAAACK! Dammit! First you mindfrell him, give him koodle-boppy, make him think the koodle-boppy didn't happen, and basically get Scorpy following him for years, now you wanna kill him? Bastid.

-Jack? That's not a good answer. That's not a yes or no answer! I don't care if you know that he's got noble intentions, you didn't say that you wouldn't kill him!

-Heh. Jack has a kryptonite golfball! Dood!

-uhm... I don't trust devices with no off button. I had a modem like that once. I didn't trust it. Course, it gave me reasons not to...

-Jack's gonna fly it? How the hell does he know how to fly Crichton's module? Oh, wait, duh, Lymey. AHR, they had his module in custody...

-BAD FURLOW! Figures she's in cahoots with the Scarrans. She was way too calm about her info getting ripped off from her comp, and then Crichton and Aeryn shooting the crap out of it. *sigh* and she was so cool...

-What's with the smiley-smirk Jack gives Furlow before turning around? Why the hell did he turn his back to her? WTF?! I wouldn't turn my back on that woman! PSYCHO! It's like those idiot kids in the horror movie who decide to go investigate what that scary sound was instead of RUNNING LIKE HELL!

-I just realised that Charrids kind of remind me of Vorkarians. Except with a lot more snot, and uglier.

-Hmmmm. Furlow reminds me a whole lot of Pearl Forrester from MST3k. Which prolly explains why I liked Furlow so much... I always thought Pearl rocked, too...

-Okay, so, does that make it a double cross, or a tripple cross? Eh?

-C'mon. Furlow's on nobody's side but her own. Don't you believe her for a second, you Charrid guys.

-LIAR! LIAR! Furlow, you liar! Telling Crichton and Aeryn that the Charrids shot Jack!

-Aaaw, poor Crichton. This is like watching his dad die, and we know how attatched he was to his dad...

-Er, how many more times are they going to use the same stock footage of that dreadnaught..?

-Hehee. Aeryn said 'boobie'. Yeah, okay, so she said 'booby-trap'. But I heard 'boobie.' BOOOOOBIES!

-Heh. This Scarran isn't a normal scarran. He's the Bruce Wayne of Scarrans... he's BATSCARRAN! Yeah, he's got the Batscarran red triangles all over him, lookie thar...

-Ew. What IS it with this show and showing us Scarran nipples?!

-Go John. "I can build this thing!"

-It can destroy a whole planet? Jack is building the Death Star?

-Stark, right about here, is reminding me of a slightly insane butler. I could imagine him opening the door at some big fancy manor.

-"How much sex can you have?" "Dunno, I haven't maxed out yet." *watches as women in the audience scream that they'll help him max out*

-Ms. 21st Century Wormhole... Mental image of Furlow in a bathingsuit, her little hat, holding a bouquet of roses, and doing the beauty-queen wave with a wrench...

-BAD FURLOW! "I know it looks good on you..." (in reference to Crichton's pistol. Not his pants. But his pants look good on him, too. Woo.) Heh. AND HOW, furlow! And how...

-Things you never thought you'd hear on Farscape: Aeryn telling Rygel to 'cover us' in a battle.

-Heh. So, the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car in the UT too, huh? *snicker*

-"How the hell can we have the only gun on the planet that doesn't work?!" Man. I love how Aeryn blames him, too. "If you weren't here, this gun would work!"

-WOO! Crichton butt-slapped Aeryn! *snerk*

-Heh. Aeryn's playing chicken with a car. For any other person, you'd think the car would lose...

-*shot* "Shoulda run." Damn, Aeryn kicks ass.

-Aw, man. Here's where Crichton messed up: As soon as that flare hit, he should've shot Furlow. Yes, it's cold hearted. But he might've lived.

-Here's something I just realised. When Stark walks, he kind of prance-dance-walks. It's weird, but... well, it fits his insanity.

-BWAHAHAH! SCARRAN GO BOOM!

-"Don't be the hero, always be the one to walk away while the hero dies." That's actually a good motto. But you get special points for being heroic.

-No, John, bad idea, John, don't do that, find a stick, go around the back, just don't do---

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU BIG DUMB BAG OF DUH! IDIOT!

-Aaaand we go to a commercial with the Bowflex nipple...

-Hell no, he ain't okay, Aeryn. He just signed his death warrant.

-"Frelled! Mivonks-on-a-plate frelled!" Mmm, Ryge, I love you.

-"Knock it off, Crais. You're gonna make me start liking you." That's okay, John. I have enough animosity towards Crais to make up for it...

-Wow. You know what I've noticed? Crichton only kisses Aeryn in that really desperate way when he needs to ground himself. He did it in LGM1, too...

-half intuition, half feeling... HEY! Wait a sec!

-Heh. Lookie Crais, bein all butch. Stark just absolutely makes that scene by quietly saying, "They must be terrified."

-I don't know why, but I have written here 'The dreadnaught is in my pants.' Me and my obsession with the word pants.

-"Mama Crichton's baby boy, makin wormholes."

-Wooo. The CGI of the dreadnaught and Crichton doing the, uh, wormhole thingie just rocked. They were great.

-Whoa, did they say it's touching a star? A STAR?!

-WHOA! HOT DAYUM! Dreadnaught go bibi!

-And once again, Stark makes the scene perfect: "I have no prayer for that."

-Aw, man. Poor Aeryn. The emotion in her voice when she asks, "John! Are you--?" Poor woman.

-Wow. Crais isn't sucking ass in this scene, here. He's being rather cool, actually...

-"My stuff - you can't have it." "It will be hard... not to think of you." Aw, dammit. Damn you, Rygel. In every ep we see someone die - DMD, SIW2 - I am FINE until Rygel opens his mouth or does something compassionate. The little green bastard makes me start sobbing like a bitch here. Damn muppet.

-John giving something to Stark in his mask... even though we find out later, I was wondering, just like everyone else, what it could be... It's also interesting how during that whole bit, Stark's looking at Aeryn...

-"I'm very angry." So are all the shippers, Aeryn, hon. "I would've gone to Earth." Aw. we know you would've. We know you love that crazy erpman, Aeryn. And it bites big wind that you have to watch him die.

-Last kiss... Aw, man... this is a big downer...

-Wow. And, of course, if Rygel the Muppet Who Makes Lymey Cry didn't get me, Crichton's last lines would've: "Don't worry bout me. I've never felt better." *sob*

-And poor Aeryn. Poor woman, just BREAKS down. Dammit, why has Claudia Black not gotten awards for this, already? I don't care if Farscape isn't mainstream, the way she handled this scene deserves awards, because it HURT to watch.

-And then she crawls into bed with his body... aw, man... and scapers everywhere are sniffling... if not out-right bawling...

-Yeah. So, that's IP2. Next comes an even more difficult ep to watch. No, not RA. I already reviewed that. I mean The Choice. That ep hurts for anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one... And it's further proof of how much ass Claudia Black can kick as an actress.

So, that's all for now. I'm going to do my usual website plug: http://www.lymophilia.com. The new #farscape Quote log is up, too, btw! Go read! It's in the 'Farscape Dren' section!

LBT