Fractures

Wow. Wowie wow wow wow. Hey, does anyone on this BB *remember* me? It's been so long since I've posted!

Anyway. I'm not dead, I'm just resting. You know, we been on hiatus for 8, count em, EIGHT months, and, well... Lymey been a bad astronaut. That's right. It took me forever to review IP1 and IP2, and I didn't do more than 2 back reviews and I ain't even touchin TC! Why? It's just so *hard* to review. Maybe after we get some happy, fluffy, less deathy episodes, I'll be able to review TC without wanting to jump out the nearest window. Argh, angst overload. But seeing as we get the final four... um... tonight (hee, yeah, I'm getting down to the wire, ain't I?) the chances that we're going to get 'happy fluffy less deathy' episodes means it'll prolly be a while yet in coming.

Oh, yeah, btw? In case you haven't figured it out yet, this is a spastic review for Fractures. I guess I need to get back into spazzy reviewer shape for the new eps! Oh, and seeing as I have school, work, and am generally feeling like crap... I'm gonna try to get my reviews up for the final four BEFORE the eps air, which means you'll prolly end up getting them sometime on Friday afternoon... lol.

Oh, hey and I'm doing this review from memory, since Fractures was on last week and I... well, I wrote this sitting in a hallway in Wooten Hall at UNT in between classes, and am typing it up now. So SUCK IT if I leave anything out, nooch!

This review is brought to you by: Trojan condoms! Because... eeeeeeewwww... muppet porn. Ew. Psysol, please, I feel unclean!

And in no particular order:

-Shirtless Crichton! WOO! WOOWOWOWOWOWOWO! <THUD> Yeah. Uh. I didn't watch Fractures during the hiatus until march 29. And then went spazzy at bare chested Crichton.

-D'Argo gives fashion advice... something along the lines of 'that green shirt is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not you, but the black one looks FABULOUS!' This gave Lymey slashy thoughts. And mental images of D'Argo doing the Oscars Joan Rivers red carpet thing. *snerk*

-Oh, yes, and the bad greenscreening. DOOD! People! wakeup, were you asleep at the wheel? Or were you in such a hurry to get the ep out that you forgot about fixing the green screen reflection?

-And now, for more slashy vibes... Chiana and Jool. Sharing clothes. Okay, I am officially shipping for these two, let's see some alien lesbian koodle-boppy!

-A nebari, a scarran, and a hynerian walk into a leviathan... oh, wait, you've heard this joke before, haven't you? hehe

-Oh! Look! And they brought Mouse with them from the Matrix! Okay... does that make Ohrrn the Woman In Red? *snerk*

-Oh, yeah, btw. Ohrrn... whose name I'm still not sure I'm spelling correctly... looks like A DRAG QUEEN. But then, we all know it's prolly just an old Rygel puppet in a dress with blue manic panic in its hair... so, technically... it is a drag queen... I think. *head explodes*

-Well, it is interesting to see a Scarran who isn't the big baddie of the ep for once. In fact, I kinda liked Najgil. Or however you spell it.

-Najgil... Nazgil... Nazgul! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH! He's one of the black riders! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ringwraiths are really scarrans! But that's okay, Sam will kill him if he tries anything. (And if you don't get that line, just keep reading, Bwaha)

-Boolite goo all over the pod... This is your boolite. This is your boolite on drugs. Any questions?

-Talyn's return is... ouch. Lookie Crichton, running around all happy with this big dumb dope 'I'm gonna see my girlfriend' grin on his face, only to get SMACKED DOWN!

-And then there's Rygel and Crais' reactions to seeing Crichton... which shoulda tipped him off that there were problems, but he was too focused on seeing Aeryn again to notice... and then, of course... Aeryn's cooooooooooooooold reception and Crichton lookin pitiful.

-And, then, Rygel smells WOMAN. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

-Random comment: I dig Hubero. She's cool.

-Chi hallucinates. Again. At LEAST the crew seems to have figured out that she's havin flashes of the future or whatnot by now. I'm guessing this isn't a common nebari trait...

-Crichton putting his.. others... uh... okay, screw it, for the sake of simplicity... putting HIS stuff away was sad. It was amusing tho, how he took the original Winona that TalynCrichton had and put that one in his holster... but why was he sniffing the jacket? Kinda reminds me of someone sniffing their underwear to check-see if they're clean...

-Ahaha! STARK! MAH BABY! I finally get to see you again! WHEE! Anyway. *ahem* "Help me, Obi-Wan Starkobi, you're my only hope!"

-the signals being sent from Moya - I will fully admit that I totally feared that Aeryn was working in league with Mouse to send those signals for most of the ep. After all, TPTB like to throw us for a loop... and Aeryn doing that would've been one hell of a loop.

-the boolite is reminding me of something out of Army of Darkness. One of the zombie-esque deadites, I suppose.

-There's more than one way to skin a scarran... remove his heat gland. *snicker*

-eugh. Okay. Okay. I have to mention it because it happened. Eugh. RYGEL/OHRRN PORN *shudder* Hey, that rhymed. Anyway. Hearing Rygel being called 'Rygie' sent shivers down my spine and has scarred me for life.

-The scene with Crichton and Aeryn repairing stuff was tough. She's giving him the silent treatment, but it prolly hurt bad when he said 'huey louie and dewey'.

-D'Argo cracks me up. 'Ah, my friend, I don't have any advice...' lol.

-Aha. very interesting. So, apparently removing a scarran heat gland makes him vulnerable to pulse pistol fire?

-*snicker* *snerk* Crais and Jool... putting the boolite back together... and Crais is holding... *snicker* Well, I'm sorry, Crais handling boolite wang is just hilarious to me, lol!

-Interesting... nebari androgens... this made my mind do this whole big theory thing that would explain why chiana's such a sex pot... the nebari have a problem with androgynous babies, and as a result, they need to have lots of babies to perpetuate the species... or something like that.

-the escape of Mouse and Rygel-in-Drag... bwahaha... that kinda cracked me up. Mouse comes in, doing the big guns schtick from the Matrix and Crais and Jool dive for cover... that scream was PRICELESS! ROFL!

-D'ARGO'S NEW SHIP ROCKS SOCKS! OH YES BAYBEE! This is the first time we've seen it in action and MAN does it look COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

-ooo. Aeryn makes a slip! 'Just like the budong.' 'What budong?' Then she remembers that this isn't the guy who was with her on Talyn... but I see it as a good sign... there may be hope yet, oh shippers!

-the rescue scene just ROCKED. The cgi was great, and, oh, yeah, there was a BIG EXPLOSION! BIG BADA BOOM! YEAAAAAAAAAH!

-Owie. Message from Dead!Crichton. But it's good Aeryn saw it. She saw the whole rock/paper/scissors game and they both rolled the same thing...

-Buuuut. When Crichton's saying that he's going after scorpy, I was SO sure Aeryn was gonna push right past him and go off to do whatever, so I was surprised when she stopped and stood next to Crichton! YAY!

-"You're all gonna die." "You just guessin, or are you seeing that one, Chi?" *snerk*

-Okay. Now to talk about Final Four stuff. Ooo, do those commercials look good but depressing. And they keep showing this scene where crichton leans his head up against Pilot's? IT makes me want to jump his bones and give him lots of comfort sex *snicker*.

BTW. This ep is one of the ones I believe proves that Rockne is a Farscape GOD. It was a great ep. And now we do random things, like plugging and stuff. Everyone, if you have not read them, GO READ THE VERY SECRET LOTR DIARIES! They're at www.verysecretdiaries.com - They're hilarious, and explain that 'Sam will kill him if he tries anything' joke above. And has anyone else noticed, if you've seen the new Star Wars trailer, that Yoda has a THRONESLED?! I think they stole it from Farscape, yes I do, dammit!

OH! And in case you STILL don't know... www.lymophilia.com will be GONE very soon. It's no longer being updated, my new site is www.paranoidcitroid.com, and my email has changed as well... it is now lyme@paranoidcitroid.com. Recently updated! With a Natira music video, quotelists, and other fun junk!

Oh, yeah, and... GIT YER ASSES OVER TO www.bluelady.org AND REGISTER FOR SCAPERCON! (Or, rather, scape...er,whatever con!) I'm gonna be there! WOOHOO!

LBT, your paranoid citroid god of spazzyness